Movies like Hitch and TV shows like Law & Order: SVU have given viewers a tiny taste of the dynamics of speed dating. Truth is, it’s not just for the desperate and dateless. It offers singles of all shapes, sizes, lifestyles and mindsets the chance to interact with a group of people just like them; one at a time. Think of it as a job fair setting, only with prospective companions, not employers. While speed dating, one skims the informational surface of each of several people instead of having to delve deeply into one prospect who might be a bust. More options mean greater chances of finding a good fit.
Nowadays, speed dating registration takes place over the internet with a credit card. Most companies that host such sessions allow phone registration too. One session costs in the ballpark of $30 to $60 to attend, depending on the city, and how wonderful the dating agency thinks they are.
When going speed dating, showing up early is advised. It gives the participant the chance to interact with other singles before the event officially begins. But before all else, upon arrival, the daters “check in” with the agency’s host and then read a brief description of how the event works. With that letter, there’s typically a match card that is used during or after the gathering.
When held at a bar, like the locales chosen by San Diego-based Lucky 7 Match, the daters often get drinks and simply schmooze before it’s time to start. Since most speed dating sessions are organized via age groups (i.e. 25-34, 35-44, etc.), the open time allows people in different brackets to possibly match with one another even if they won’t be set up for a discussion that evening.
Once everyone arrives, things get underway.
Generally the ladies will take numbered seats throughout the bar or restaurant, and the gentlemen, who also get numbered, will rotate every 5 to 8 minutes (the time you have with each dating prospect is dictated by the hosting agency). On the match card, there’s room to write the name of each encounter on each numbered line.
During the allotted minutes, daters can talk about whatever they like. Topics usually range from each other’s professions, to activities, to organizations they belong to, to pets they have. Having only a few minutes allows for the exchanging of just the right details, and there’s less likelihood of making a bad first impression.
Once time is up, a host or hostess will signal so, usually by ringing a bell. At Lucky 7’s events, the men walk to the next corresponding number. After so many meetings (four or so) there is typically an intermission. During this, it’s again suggested to mingle with others there to see if, in an unarranged capacity, there’s strong chemistry with someone else. In Lucky 7’s case, their match cards have extra numbered lines to write names of additional, out-of-age-group prospects.
After the recess, the rotation continues, and in the span of about 90 minutes, the event is over. At the end, every participant reviews the names of all of their dates with the corresponding numbers. Reflecting on what was liked or disliked about each person, daters then enter ‘yes,’ meaning ‘I liked this date,’ or ‘no,’ indicating to the host company that you would not like to be acquainted with them again. A ‘match’ is formed by two people who mutually indicate ‘yes’ for each other, meaning they’d like to have future contact.
Companies like Lucky 7 Match call all of the evening’s participants the next day. Each person learns who his or her matches are and receives each match’s phone number. It’s then up to each potential couple to build on what they started. Movies and television offer their versions of speed dating. Yet the process itself guides one through the often tricky world of romance, and opens new doors of opportunity.
It’s the dater’s job to stay there.
